Not a Valentino!

It’s funny how time flies and reasoning rust. This month there would be another global celebration of the festival of love. And to be expected are the ripple effects of such activity: broken hearts, pockets and hymens! Well, some reverence that day as to go to any length to satisfy their object of love.

Of course, I was once in that shoe for sincerely positive reasons. I loved with all my heart turned to it and blinded against reasoning. But, it took the goodwill of some few ladies to show me the light of my salvation.

Once upon a time, when men were boys such is the feeling I have now. There was a time the approach of this month gives me great trepidation. How am I to live up to expectation?

The first VAL I celebrated was with a gift of an apple—that was for my first love. Oh, how naivety can be so splendid! She appreciated it and winked at me for a comm’on! I asked her out on the spot!

The last one, I gave a cake, custom-made card, Jewellery and other accessories summed into thirteen thousand naira—that was on campus, at the height of my stupidity!—I pray, such insanity will never hit me again. The next day we had a picnic at the botanical garden where some doles dropped off my pocket still. Funny enough she never thought it wise to come along with a portion of the muffin to celebrate our love. Fatally brutal!

My last girl was brutally disappointed, too. I gave her a bottle of Viju Milk!

For several weeks, she became reverent doing everything to enter my good books. Went extra miles on every errands and rounds and I could not but thanked my stars for such unmerited benevolence!

On the D-day I gave every excuse to be out-of-sight and she conspired to let me be thinking it would give me room to run the errand of valentine…it must have ached so much being the only girl in her room not to declare good returns for her roommates on that night. Well, I have learnt my lessons.

Some weeks later we quarrelled and the VALs was top on the reasons for it

‘Imagine, you couldn’t make me happy on Val’s day!’ she complained

‘Neither could you make me happy, too’ I fired back

‘Relationship is a two-way traffic, I give you; you give me, makes the world go round’ I added

Upon my wretched bottle of Viju milk, I did not get a pack of groundnut! Pathetic!

On a point of talk: what really gives ladies impressions that the guys should bend over their backs to make them happy on VAL’s day? And who ever gave them the impression that the only giftable for a guy is singlet—such is what I ever got?

Yesterday, my new girlfriend accused me of not wanting to celebrate the Val for her as an explanation for my nonchalant attitude lately! Only if she knows…

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2 thoughts on “Not a Valentino!”

  1. Well, on Valentine Day i take it upon myself to go around girls hotels to give them bars of chocolate and love letters from Deir future/dream boyfriend! Ladies always crowd around me for it interestingly!…dat was wen i was in Uni & now dat I’m a graduate? Think I’ll still go back to do same to atleast cheer those expectant ladies if u guys refuse to show dem love!lol……but really i dnt understand all the fuss expressed by ladies over valentine!!!

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