Today is another day that marks our Anniversary but I doubt if the enthusiasm of those days subsist today. Indeed, it would be strange if you say they do, because yours sincerely sincerely doesn’t feel anything. Of course, not for any other animate either.
I recall the flowery days of January 26 t0 31 of that year and the ascent of a seven year acquaintance getting to a crescendo as sure as should.
I recall those lonely stroll across the citadel like the forlorn child in Laye Camara’s The African Child’s tale; the uncertainties of the earlier autumn until the winter that won my heart. What greater agony can memories bring?
Can you still recall the diagnosis of the doctor? The throbbing heart that threatened to pop out of its cavity and her kindly advice I should take some depressant dose [that was the height of how beyond the cloud 9 you drove me], ignorant as she was of the anxiety and passion burning through my soul.
Of the debt of appreciation, I owe which no institution could summon the courage to incur.
Of the quake of violent passion that had recently erupted through my being.
Of the reluctance to be where I was in her office even though that was the right place I should.
Of a soul recently taken to journey but refused to follow its master back to base.
Of the picture of that night’s painful departure that now, haunts my dreams.
The fourth was the climax of it all.
But, is today part of the experience we subscribed to?
Has that electricity been severed from its circuit?
It may all seem yes but I am absolving you from all the guilt of a failed trial, our collective reluctance to let us work. My new appetite in life, which daily estranges me from thee, has placed me squarely as the more culpable of the party.
I am sorry for the irrational fear to let go, the excess excuses to plea my dalliance and penchant to withdraw to myself. I could have been a better person as you always say if I had wanted to be; only God knows why I prefer to run away from issues.
I am divided between you and me: a present that preoccupies me [pushing me farther from you] and a future that features you.
I wish I could say something so smashing so as to bring back our hearts but I am short of new synonyms for sorry; therefore, I just wish you hearty health, cheerful countenance, merry mind and a fragrant memory of things past and those to come. Shut your eyes against today!
I LOVE YOU.
One thought on “A Letter to a Personal Friend:”
Wow! So touching