Four Skills I wish Women had but luckily they don’t

On Sunday, I noticed with some genuine concern that Livelytwist, aside writing well, does lookable original graphics for her blog and I registered my surprise.

While I don’t entirely deny my chauvinistic views they are mostly factual all the time. Well, that’s not a matter for today.

A riposte bounced off that comment asking for anything rare I could do—the classic case of “What can a man do…? While there are a million things a man can legally/illegally do that women can’t… in the spirit of egalitarianism, I would make a list of four skills I wish women could do but fortunately they can’t :)… men are just that awesome.

Graphics Designs

With the conversations women have with mascara and watercolour kit one would expect they should be natural graphics designers. Well, I do graphics, though at amateur level, than any woman I have met. The first time I met a woman that pretends to know anything about graphics was at a conference and she was responsible for the visual presentation of her group. I knew right away something was wrong with the men in that group. I discovered they all suffered from different shades of glaucoma. In all my doing, I have only met four women—one in Nigeria, three outside the country.

Female Drivers

Is it just me or there is a dearth of female professional drivers? One of the pastimes of traffic-held individual is to fantasize about variable possibilities of a better society. Recently, my best effort of daily-drive musing is to ask: why don’t we see any female driving any male in an arrangement that could be perceived as a Boss-driver relationship? I mean with all the perks of the male snoozing off in traffic at the owner’s corner? Why, don’t we see women sympathetic enough to feminism employing a female driver? Does this have anything to do with the fear for an increase in homicide rate, especially in the case of a female-female, Boss-driver relationship? Take it from me; females are poor managers of ego.

Parking lot Etiquette

I know this is a sexist opinion, but I hold it nonetheless: Women do not park as well as me-n. Sue me, take my license away or jam my seat belt, but it’s the truth. Tell me that women are smarter, nicer, and better-looking than men. Tell me they are compassionate, sensitive and intuitive… but don’t tell me they can park a car.

I was standing at the topmost floor of a plaza on Monday trying to look out for my car and who may be trying to block my going out. Soon, a woman drove into the lot and left her car with such a thoughtless abandon, something akin to this| / | the middle stroke representing the positioning of her car. Not up to five minutes later another woman pulled over beside our first culprit and we ended up with something like this: | \  / |. I am not here to judge but it is a matter of etiquette or lack of it.

Let’s concede some points though

Some little girls taught me how to ride a bike in the creeks of south-south 🙂 …but who needs such skills anyways? It is as good as a woman armed with haggling skill in a shopping mall.

 

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Another contribution to the #AtoZChallenge at @AprilA2Z

I am on Twitter: @SeeWilhelms

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That Charles is a Chauvinistic humorist is a stale news but you should know that his writings are fast requiring some 3-digit IQ censoring. If you cannot relate or agree to this post something is definitely wrong somewhere, but not here!

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12 thoughts on “Four Skills I wish Women had but luckily they don’t”

      1. I wonder why that is so too…
        I guess it has to do with offensive driving mentality, especially in my country where women think the men are out to take them for a ride. Poor creatures!

  1. LOOOOOOOOOOLLLL!!!!!!! Please allow me to register my surprise then apologize for replying to this this late.

    I won’t argue your opinion. But I’ll say that I have the skills you wish I didn’t have. *evil laughter* 😀

  2. I’ve been having some “interesting” conversations with a friend of mine recently about sexism, traditional gender roles, etc. I strongly feel that stereotypes (i.e., female drivers) exist for a reason and that there are simply certain things that each gender is better at. This is not sexist, it is not chauvinistic, it is pure fact. I don’t understand some women who constantly feel the need to argue that. It is exhausting having conversations on the topic. There is nothing wrong with accepting these differences!

    Loving the eclectic feel of your blog! Always great to meet other writers/poets and participants in the A-Z challenge (albeit a bit late in the game!). Looking forward to reading more! 🙂

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