What NOT to buy Your Boss for Christmas

There are a lot of things to consider when shopping for Christmas most of them are not suitable for your boss as gifts.

I know despite my warnings about how to save your money this season, some of you cannot stand the forlorn looks darting your way like fiery arrows across the office. You feel pressed by the cavalier display of qualified affection thrown around by your colleagues towards your bosses.

You should know some people like anything you give them just because you gave it to them. Other people never like anything you give them and there’s nothing you can do about it – most bosses fall into the latter category.

1. So, what’s the most suitable gift to share with your bosses this Christmas? The honest answer is nothing; but, who wants honest answers when there’s enough to squander and go-a-borrowing in January?
2. But buying a greeting card is as wasteful as it is common. Your boss doesn’t fancy having a reminder of your-inept-self hanging around her home, what are you thinking? That’s a no-no.
3. So, you want to consider wine, gin or juice? There again is a wrong move! You risk communicating your intent of poisoning him without remorse. Moreover, he can come back to report food poisoning linked with your gift. Trust me; you don’t want your relationship to take this turn.
4. Oh, the good old necktie, scarf and muffler? While at it you should consider shoelaces, polish brushes and umbrella’s cases. Of course, you know you wanna cheap-out guess you know your boss knows value too? Pray, what makes you think your boss will need a necktie, was there an occasion in the year that he requested to use yours?
5. Let’s say you hit a big commission so you want to splurge your boss for the season. Grand pixel images of iPhone 6+, Zara brogue shoe, Prada bag, Rolex watch pan in and out of your mind, beware this will ultimately set you up for failure in the coming year. What do you think will be the impression of your colleagues who supported you to meet your target when you come to flaunt your gratitude and they can hardly afford token?
6. Books are the most giftable items at any season because we have more idiots around us than mere instructions can cure. But something makes your boss a boss in the first place. Yes, he has read more books than you or so he made your organization to believe. Your book gift will be useless to him, except you know he is a grand idiot –kindly go ahead and help this nation, click here.

7. 

   ‘Does this have anything to do with your Christmas bonus?’

   How about cash gifting? If I am in your organization and I happen to see you giving our departmental head a cash gift, I will blow the whistle on you! Transactional purpose of cash is to tendered in exchange for a service or goods. You don’t want us to start assuming things around here.

We have successfully eliminated unsuitable gifts for your boss and we are left with nothing! Are we?

You may consider vanity cufflinks, evangelical mugs that screams “Hell is real”, sewing thread, sleeping pills, dunlop slippers, mopping sticks, chopping  sticks, toothpicks, NTA subscription bouquet just about anything that reflects how he made you feel the year gone-by.

This is a reminder to live simple and conduct our affairs in stoic contemplation.

This month I will do everything and I will do nothing…

Happy new month peeps!

Sure, it has been a while but pardon me, hustle came between the blog and me.

I have made a new year resolution soon after my country changed party leadership…

My new year resolution is similitude of my president’s inaugural declaration: “I belong to everybody and I belong to nobody” after fruitless attempts to make a sense out of such deliberate double-speak, that leaves one more confused and bewildered, I gave up and developed some more variations of my own speaking within talking.

You see, communication has become such an arduous task in our society albeit more endangered  is comprehension skills.

Pray, a man mouthed such wicked Obscurantism but was hailed as a man of himself. I pity our collective approbation.

…My new year resolution is to henceforth do everything within my powers and do nothing outside my powers. I will hence wake someday and go everywhere and I will go nowhere. You can figure out the rest of my life’s story…

***Lights out***

Nox Veritas

When to sessions of nightly thought

I scroll timeline of things newly past

I sigh the dearth of things I sought

For every zoom, scroll and click dear time’s waste

Then, I happened upon a ceaseless flow

Of mentions, blogs & #tags – a #twurch for scary nights

With animated fingers & eyelids aglow

I leap at rhema & dance in a new found lights

I wail no more for hubris gone

I’m relieved from guilt and man-made laws

Casting off sin and Adam’s gown

For your blog tells me HE paid it all

If but for a while, I hover on your tweets dear friend

All Hope is restored and my sorrows end!

***

For @damilar3, this is to specially appreciate the goodness of your heart and discipline of your art to proclaim the mandate to every created being.

Happy Birthday Sir!