Iron Wall

Caught in the middle of it all

Barred from my village by this wall

Unity our virtue, given a great fall

 

Stranger what brought you here?

Don’t cross, so you don’t ere

Boy: Look, and see my scar

 

They didn’t come cowing around

I’v got my own share on this ground

Tell: Bismarck was here, roaming this wall’s surround.

 

Dear Writerly Pals, I couldn’t do a story today because of a saddening news I heard yesterday but I came up with this form of Haiku –let me know what you think of it, anyway. Thanks!

This story is a contribution to the Friday Fictioneers at Madison Woods‘ blog. Where a crush of writers are inspired by her photo prompt to express a story in 100 words. Please, click to find other stories.

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38 thoughts on “Iron Wall”

  1. This is not exactly Haiku, but a nicely told tale – a fable almost and very interestingly and colourfully written. Because you are in Africa, your stories always bring us the flavour of your surroundings, which gives them a special rendering.
    Thank you,

    Laura

    1. I guessed as much, that’s why I called it a form (failing to categorize it properly) but this story is one about international politics…you may want to look deeper at it. Yes, maybe I have told it in the light of my world view. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. I’m sorry for your loss. And from the northern cold lands of Scandinavia, I’ll send good thoughts your way.

    Your poem was great, it did throw me off a little in the second paragraph, but all in all it was wonderful.

    //Cae (http://wp.me/suGD7-parallel)

    1. Thanks Caely for the visit here…the story is about the reincarnation of Bismarck, the Germanic states unifier during the cold war…the 2nd stanza has a small boy warning him to back off from one of the divides between the west and east german states…Imagine!

  3. So sorry to hear about your sad news. Hope everything is well. Loved the haiku. I admire people who can do any form of poetry. Not an easy thing as far as I’m concerned.

  4. You always bring a taste of another world to these prompt gatherings, and this is no exception. Very atmospheric. So sorry for your loss.

  5. Hi Charles, nice to meet you! I’m sorry to read of the loss of your two friends, You eulogized them beautifully and my thought is that anyone who knows them and reads it would be happy with your words. I enjoyed your poetry and found the three verses (I’m not sure if they’re technically Haiku) very powerful.

  6. I can feel the sadness and loss and maybe some anger in your poem. It is frustrating when you don’t get a chance to say goodbye and are left with your memories and hole in your heart.
    Powerful poem…

    1. Really?!…well, thank you for stopping by.
      Maybe this says much of my mood as well as Bismarck’s– sure to have felt that way if he had visited Germany and met the Iron Curtain in the cold war era, seeing the unified Germany he fought so divided! Thanks again!

  7. Dear Charles,

    ‘….and the vizier handed the Sultan a plain, unadorned gold ring and engraved upon the inside were the words; “This too shall pass.”‘

    Cold comfort now, I know, but your dear friends live on in your heart and in your writing. It’s the best any of us can hope for.

    Your haiku/tone poem was great and, as others have said far more eloquently, brought to us a taste of a warm breeze of a distant land.

    Peace,

    Doug

    (And thanks for the comments on my work this week. I add my link only on the off chance I may thus meet some of your friends. (A friend of yours is a friend of mine. Aloha, D.)

  8. Thanks for sharing, Charles. It was surprising how well I was able to connect to this poem with a short length.
    I don’t know if I understood exactly what it all meant, but sometimes we don’t need to.
    Very well done, and I wish you the best during your difficult time.

    1. Thanks for the visit here…It’s about a reincarnated Bismarck visiting a divided Germanic state after all he fought for during the unification…one of those things my classes of history left me is to think of iron curtain when i see a wired fence…Thanks again!

  9. Very sorry to hear of sad times, See. Thank you for your kind words and sharing your poetic tale. I’m not the best at understanding the nuances of poetry, but I take away the sometimes bewildering dance of cultures, borders, politics, and even war. Nicely done.

  10. I’m sorry to hear of your loss. I’m sure both girls are equally proud of you.
    & I thought “Cowing around” was very cute 🙂

  11. I read your other post first and it was a beautiful eulogy for your friends and would be a last post you could rest easy on if it were your last. I’m sorry for your loss.

    Your poem was well-written, and I’m sure there are meanings in it I’m not understanding, but I liked it even if I don’t know the rest of the story behind it.

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